No Blue Pill, No Red
Pill Response
When I read
your article it was a bit like reading a poem at the beginning then it got into
more detail and I began to get your point. I thought all of the writing was
very interesting and it connected to the audiences of school staff (teachers,
principals, etc.), and/or students.
My opinion was that you were telling
us that some students just don’t care about school and they don’t care to try
to work. Then the teachers have to try to harder to motivate those kids while
dealing with all the other ones and then the teacher ends up working twice as
hard and getting less motivated by the carefree kids. Also it is difficult to
find a spark of inspiration to satisfy all the kids because they are always
used to having the answers given straight to them. Just as people use the
internet to find the one answer they are looking for nothing else.
Also the pictures were pretty good
but they did draw some of the attention away from the overall written part but
they also added to it a bit. In total all writing was great and very interesting
even though it was slightly disordered because of the photos. But otherwise it
was great.
Can you expand on this Jaydn?
ReplyDeleteGreat Job Jaydn I really enjoyed reading your response.However it is very short you need to make the paragraphs a bit longer. But Other then that you did a great job
ReplyDeleteSince My first comment didn't meet the expectations I am going to expand on it so I really enjoyed reading you response it was creative and interesting, Your Response showed your thoughts and you did a good job expressing your thoughts. However as I mentioned before your Response is too short. If you expand on it then your response will improve greatly. Also you can be more creative rather then say it was great. Maybe if you say why you thought it was great that will help expand on you response as well as make it even more enjoyable to read then it already was. Other then that great Job Jaydn
ReplyDeleteYou did really good on writing down your ideas, which is really great. One thing you could work on is your puncstuation, since you have run-on sentences. For example,
ReplyDelete"Then the teachers have to try to harder to motivate those kids while dealing with all the other ones and then the teacher ends up working twice as hard and getting less motivated by the carefree kids." That is a run-on sentence, so muake sure you add comas in there, or even periods to end you idea off. All in all, your response was pretty good, since it can relate to other students. Keep it up !